The Loaf Tornado is Off to School!

I can't believe one of my babies (BABY... he's still in diapers!) is off to school today!

I can't believe it, yet that doesn't make it any less real.  He did well, he was excited up until the moment the bus came and he cried a little bit then.  Guess I'll find out when he gets home if he's going to be mad at me!

Final ~ GOYB New Year's Witchy Fitness Challenge ~ Week 12

Successes were mostly due to:

1. By immersing myself deep in my spirituality (both the "traditional Pagan" and "not so traditional Pagan" parts of it).  This includes praying and reflecting during times of emotional stress when I feel like binging, and actually responding when Spirit gently says, "No.  Now walk your witchy butt away."
2. The MyFitnessPal website
3. Cutting most useless snacks (better take this free sample 'cause it's free!)
4. Keeping calories (for the most part) at 1500-1800 a day
5. Killing the old habit of eating after 8pm
6. Going cold turkey on sodas and candy bars (not candy, I still have small pieces here and there but the actual BARS which I used to consume sometimes daily)
7. Exercising almost daily at an average of 40 minutes
8. A motivational weight loss contest at work (cash prizes to be had!)
9. The "Coffee and Bell Pepper" Diet (no, that's not an actual diet, it's a joke between me and my sister that  I will explain in another post).

"It's simply spiritual.  What kind of witch would I be if I continue to be completely powerless against my overeating addiction?  How could I be any kind of vessel for projecting, receiving, or making any kind of magick when I live life as a lethargic blob (not even talking about "fat", this is more of a mental state) that has a hard time finding the magick in any moment and attempts to escape by inhaling an El Charito TV dinner while watching Sopranos re-runs?  So its simply this... in moments of weakness call upon Spirit and remember the Goddess within." - From my first original GOYB post made back around the beginning of this year.

Height 5"4'
Weight 150.0 (Total loss of 12.4 lbs )
Dress Size 14 (Down 1 size)
BMI 25.7 (-2.1)  (Overweight, but almost to the "Healthy" range)

Bust  34 in (-2)

Waist 32 in (-3)

Hips 39 in  (-3)

I have a loose set of goal broken up in three parts and at the end of this challenge I've almost met my first goal...
Short Term Goal = 15 lbs to be 147
Mid Range Goal = 13 lbs to be 134
Final Fantasy Goal = 24 lbs to be 110
*This would be a total of a 52 pound loss but again I am going with realistic as time shows what is possible.*

My Beginning Stats ~ New Years Day:

Height 5"4'
Weight 162. 4
Dress Size 16
BMI 27.8 (Overweight)

Bust  36 in

Waist 35 in

Hips 42 in

Voices of the God/dess and the "Fear" Part I

Not too long ago I answered a question on a blog or Facebook post somewhere, something to the tune of "How does the God/dess speak to you?"   I first replied, "Through dreams or daemons, of course," and then took it a bit deeper.

For many years I felt no devotion or affiliation with any particular deity/pantheon group and just kind of followed the elusive "God and Goddess" force common with Wicca (as I started out Wiccan back in the late 90s) but this always kind of bothered me and felt a bit like false play acting. Then when I became pregnant with my first child I began to identify with Gaia and in the years since have done so with Persephone, Demeter, Hades, Dionysus, Hecate, Hera and most recently Zeus (it's all Greek to me and I have no idea why). At this point I can't call it "devotion"... its more like they are new friends that have things to teach me. Most of them have appeared to me through (believe it or not) characters of pop culture. For example Roseanne Barr represents Hecate for me. Or Severus Snape (Harry Potter) represents Hades. I have a past blog post on some of this. It's not always pop culture though.  Birds lately seem to represent something that Hera is currently imparting to me. As far as talking with and having frank conversations with the God/esses... I honestly don't know how yet. Other than acknowledgment through written word (such as this blog) I haven't figured that out. Its more like I am listening for their voices, although I don't hear actual "voices"... it's more like signs or story lines. I do have a few physical associations such as a crisp autumn wind for me is a message from Demeter (this is how she first "spoke" to me).

In house hunting a few years ago as we pulled open the door to look into the home we have now that same kind of fall wind suddenly gusted that had that same "Demeter" feeling at that moment and I knew right then that this was where I'd spend a great deal of my motherhood.  Even though I dream of bigger and better, our house has that little and cute cottage type look and feel.  In fact I call it "The Burrow" (the name of a ramshackle cute cottage of a poor wizarding family in the Harry Potter series).  I find it ironic that I am starting to feel uneasy living here because of recent weather phenomenon.  Or is the fierce side of Mother Nature trying to tell me something else besides, "Hey, I'm here and I'm bi-polar !"?

I think it is.  Perhaps it is the voice of the Gods trying to tell me something about fear.  Since the lightning strike I have lived in constant fear.  Every odd noise or bright light makes me jump, and at night I kind of lie in bed with a sick feeling in my stomach and my body thrumming with adrenaline, a fight or flight response of a mother fox nestled in with her cubs sleeping with one eye open.  I wait for hours for sleep to come.  I saw the inside of the neighbor's home yesterday (my daughter was bugging him to see inside as he came to pick up a few last things and he was kind enough to show us inside).  That strike knocked a hole clear through the ceiling and the the rest of that room's ceiling was dotted with burn scorches.  The light switches looked as if they'd been dropped in a fryer.  If that lightening had forked just about 15-20 feet the other way that would have been my daughter's bedroom.

I'm beginning to believe that the God/esses are trying to tell me about OTHER fears in my life that I might be repressing.  And that I'm probably not going to like much what they have to say.

Doh!

I learned today through another reader who just did the same that because I changed my blog url that my updates weren't popping up on anyone's feeds and therefore that's why no one commented for weeks.  So I changed it back (didn't want to, it doesn't match my new blog look and feel) and I'm hoping it will fix the problem.  Please comment here if are following and seeing an update from me...

Hoping Lightning Really Doesn't Strike In the Same Place Twice

Back online finally after Monday night's storm! Lightning struck the house next door which is some 15-20 or so feet away from our home and directly outside of Whoa Tornado's bedroom. :-( Luckily the neighbors weren't hurt and the fire was contained before it really started. Their home got fried inside and is a total loss and they've already moved away. Our TVs got fried as did our internet card, but its fixed now! Just thankful it wasn't much worse! But after all those funnels around here last year and now this I really really wish we could move somewhere that would be a little safer.

Blog Spring Cleaining, Life Spring Cleaning, Etc.

It's that time again!  While my personal health goals and some clearing-out-negative-trainwrecking-trash goals have been a great success my spiritual and "domestic goddess-ry" ambitions are very scattered and unfocused right now.  So for some silly reason I feel like a blog overhaul will help me make a fresh start on those things.  So I'm kind of under construction here so to speak.  See you soon!

GOYB Challenge Week...9, I Think?

Weight 153.0 (-1, total of 9.4 lost to date)
Dress Size 14
BMI 26.3 (-0.1)  (Overweight)

Bust  34 in (Same)

Waist 33 in (Same)

Hips 38 in  (-2... cool!)

Not much blah blah about this week.  Same things... I've managed to get a set 40 minute work out in on Mon-Fri at least while the Boy Tornadoes nap.  On average I stay around 1400-1500 calories except for the days Family Guy bombards the family with eating out, and there was a time this week that I went on a binge and ate two candy bars in a row with some fatty cheese dip straight out of the container.  I'm not sure why.  I wasn't upset or anything at the time to drive me to that.  Old habits die hard I suppose.