I Wanna See Your Peacock!

Our first freeze (slightly below 32 degrees) here in North Texas has rolled in this week.  Lovin' it.  Most people (especially around here) would think me insane.  But I've always loved the cold.  I mentally and spiritually flourish within it.  I would be blissfully content to live in a part of the States like New York state that sees practically arctic winters with snowdrifts burying the front door.  But nope... we get about 8-9 months of summer (in the middle of it three months of BRUTAL 100 degree plus summer) and a month of spring, a month of fall, and a couple of months of something resembling winter.  That time is now upon us.

Last night I had a dream (one of my usual disconnected and random ones) that had vaguely to do with marriage.  And this morning on my "Pagan" Facebook account I was greeted with this picture:

Hera: Primarily known as the goddess of women and marriage Hera is mostly portrayed as "majestic and solemn".  Applied to daily life Hera embodies the trials, challenges, and celebrations women experience in all phases of life.  Not that I've never read up on Hera before but in researching a bit for this blog post I was reading about how Hera was said to have taken bird form and she had quite a "thing" and use for peacocks.  And it got me thinking about the connection I've lately felt with birds that I've been trying to find a deeper meaning to.  

Could this be a calling from Hera?  Its rare that I feel "called" by certain god/esess, but as the years go by I can name a few that happen to be all Greek or Greco-Roman: (Gaia, Persephone, Demeter, Dionysus, Hades, Hecate).  And now I should probably add Hera to that list. 

What does this have to do with the dream I mentioned above?  I was married once before I married the Family Guy and that marriage lasted about six years.  My first husband (Whoa Tornado's biological father) shall be Christened here as Deadbeat Dad - DBD.  The marriage was never very healthy, strong or productive (other than producing the sweet old soul that is Whoa Tornado) but it wasn't totally terrible until the last two years.  One thing I really envy are exes that still co-parent together as friends because he and I simply cannot do it.  As the years pass in between the divorce and now we head more and more toward being mortal enemies.  We haven't spoken or had a conversation in about two years but my daughter does still continue to see him every other weekend (but really she's visiting his parents more than visiting him).  Long story short he's 36 years old living in a dark dungeon of a room at his parents' place and he spends his time either sleeping, playing video games, watching movies, or doing courses for "online schooling".  He hasn't had anything resembling an actual job since about 2006 and he's something like $12,000 behind in child support.

Anyway in the last year of that marriage I believe I half ass petitioned Hera for comfort and support in keeping that union together.  And despite the fact that Hera is the goddess of protecting the union of marriage She doesn't seem to be one that is much for just quietly sitting back and taking crap from a lover and it seems in retrospect that her answer was "Hell no, let it go."

Despite being divorced and remarried I do believe in most cases that marriage should really last for life but if one has to end that it should be fought for to the death before letting it go.  Which is exactly what I did.  And my husband and I now are committed for the long haul.  This morning I read on a website that sells beautifully artistic Goddess dolls a statement on the Hera section: 

"And when you choose to intimately pair with another, Together you are One in marriage, committed to mutual support, protection, passion, and love." 

To me that rings 100% true.  So true in fact that here is a bit of sadness that I see within the severed alliance of a former marriage.  I've mentioned soul loss (the fracturing of a soul through extremely traumatizing personal events and divorce or death of loved ones are great examples of these) here before.   Well, last night I dreamed of my ex husband and in the dream we had some sort of forced interaction due to a Whoa Tornado school event (this would never happen in real life as DBD refuses to show up to those things) and in an extremely uncomfortable eye avoiding conversation in the classroom he handed me an amythyst heart necklace that he'd once given me in real life (and I think in real life I have either buried it deep in the Level 5 Hoard bedroom closet or thrown it away).  I asked him why he had it and told him, "I thought I still had this... what were you doing with it?"  Then he said, "Well apparently I still have a part of it."

Ugh.  UGH!  Very disturbing!  Its a slap in the face obvious... in my anger toward him (not anger about the failed relationship but the financial destruction the marriage created for me and laziness toward his daughter) obviously has claimed a huge part of my soul.

Ok Hera, peacock, crow, parakeet... or any other sign from the Universe that I need to let go of the anger.  I get it.  The next question is... where to find the strength to do so.

Soul Retrieval

My sister and I have been discussing for years now about how negative life experiences actually do fracture a soul into pieces (somewhat like the Harry Potter novels/movies). And (depending on the individual) when your soul is continually fractured one way of coping with that is to learn to shut down, to become cold. I myself miss the warm and optimistic girl I was in my teenage and most of 20s years (Persephone before the Underworld) but at the same time my darker goddess side gladly embraces the ability I have gained to at times completely shut down.

I happened to find the following piece on a message board; it was not something I wrote. I find it an interesting concept, but I'm not sure it would interest anyone on my readers list. I'm sharing it merely for my sister to read and for my own records.

Soul Retrieval?

This is one of those ask a hundred people and get a hundred different answers. So in that light of no answer being fully correct and none fully incorrect I shall place my perspective upon the cyber page for discussion.

I was told once that what we call Soul Retrieval today is a far cry from what the Native American's meant when they utilized the concept. In the movie "WIND TALKERS" one of the Navajo Code-talkers experiences fear as he goes into combat. Another code-talker basically performs a soul retrieval upon him through the usage of smoke and prayer to call the bravery back into his body and allow him to overcome the fear. Once his soul is recovered and the retrieval completed he is again able to face the world and function.

In the above scenario the soul became fractured when the "fear" dominated him and caused his bravery to leave. In this scenario one might say the "Soul Retrieval" was to bring back a component of his makeup and make him whole once again. His fear was put in place and his bravery was called back and balanced his fear. With the return of his bravery was also the return of his manhood and energy.

That is one form of Soul Retrieval that is used to make the person whole again. Granted much of this form is based upon a belief and acceptance of ones place within the culture and understanding.

Another form is perhaps more clinical in nature, that of facing the fractured element of self. A little bit on the dangerous side of things for the Shamanic practitioner must become one with the person to be healed. At times merging their energy with that of the one to be healed and entering the internal landscape of the psyche.

Once merged the shamanic practitioner searches for the missing elements and tries to get them to rejoin the greater soul. Demanding in the sense that a fracture may have occurred due to some traumatic event, due to some extreme injury to the body or even something of a traumatic nature the person has buried and will not face or accept.

Pretty clear that this form is recognized as a Psychologist works. One must speak to the shards as individuals and bring them back into the whole. Yet also work with the whole to make the merger as pain-free and complete as possible.

The last form of Soul Retrieval is a little harder to comprehend. Like the movie "Harry Potter" one may have fragments of their soul infused into material items. Granted not to the extent as portrayed in the Potter movies but close enough.

These are almost memories that attach the person to some item of usually great importance to them. One may find it in rings, weapons, and possessions of nearly any sort actually. Sometimes they are seen more as a cursed item than a soul fragment that continues to hold onto a physical item long after the body has expired and the soul passed on. One might even say this part calls for the shamanic practitioner to be an exorcist to rid the object of the possessing soul fragment.

In some groups this was seen as negative and destructive to the greater soul. Many groups utilizing Spirit Keepers to help the fragments release their hold to their physical items and pass them on to others that might continue to use them and gain from that possession of the item.

Usually the hardest to release are those fragments that are bound to items that the person was strongly attached to but was never able to give away or let go of. This is also the category that grieves for a passed soul can cause the creation of. Their grief and pain trapping a fragment in the item they cling to as a sacred token of the person they cared so deeply for.

Unlike the Horcruxes of the Potter movies, which had to be physically destroyed, the trapped fragments simply have to be released to move on. Sometimes easy to do, other times well lets just say it may take a couple of people to get them to let go.

So there you have it, "Soul Retrieval”, as I understand it on a minor scale. Not to say I am only right and others wrong or even to imply such simply how I view the topic of discussion.

Look forward to any responses from those that wish to share their position on the subject.